Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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