the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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