apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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