shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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