i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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