Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just forgot I was standing up.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
