Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The power of my boobs compel you
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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