This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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