Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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