The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
