Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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