If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
