OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
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today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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