Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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