saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
