We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
