I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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