Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
