i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
