he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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