Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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