SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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