i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
