I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize