You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
