He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
