she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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