enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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