I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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