I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize