My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize