are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
