do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
