she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
