I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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