i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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