No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i permit you to call me
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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