Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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