Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
