just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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