Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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