Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
