You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize