My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
