In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
