so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
