i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
