I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
