That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How drunk are you?
Completed.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
