I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
