is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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