did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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