HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
