I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just invented taco cereal.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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