Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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