I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
