I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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