Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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