absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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