I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Found your dick twin last night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
