My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
