I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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