It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
